Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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