hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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