a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
