I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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