Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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