"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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