i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
