just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
