Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
