dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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