It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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