You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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