ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
