i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
