they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
