Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
