"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
