well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
