I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
