a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
