No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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