At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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