yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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