are you still at the devil's house?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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