Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
