and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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