Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
