Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
