What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
