Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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