We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
