Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't turn off my feet"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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