I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
