I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
