how can u be prego again
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
