yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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