saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
