just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
