Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
