We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
