doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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