what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
