Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
