Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
