where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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