idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Less talking, more tequila
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
