i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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