No awkward lesbian experiences without me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
