Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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