i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
